Soul Searching Saturday

Every so often I intend this blog to not be so sarcastic, but to include soulful, honest posts. Posts where I explain and tell about myself. I would say, please dear readers feel free to ask any questions you would like to ask in the comments section (or email me) but since there are probably only 3 or 4 of you and you are some of my closest friends you already know about me, but feel free anyway.

Today, I want to explain a little about some of my recent posts about the church and the same sex marriage debates. Why I am so "angry about them all".

I grew up Southern Baptist and have attended church pretty much my entire life. I love the church and it contains some beautiful, loving people. But I also despise the church and it also contains some of the most judgmental, hateful people I have ever met. In this way it is no different than humanity which is part of the point of it I think. Anyway, what disturbs me most theses days is the response to the same sex marriage debate going on today. It disturbs me to see the appeal to scripture and using that as the basis for their behavior. Scripture has been used throughout history to rationalize and excuse all kinds of behavior, most recently (historically anyway) slavery and civil rights toward African Americans. Many of the proponents of slavery used scripture ago excuse their perpetuation of the system. But thankfully many others also used scripture and appealed to scripture to fight against slavery and eventually bring it to an end in the US. I see much the same thing happening today in regards same sex marriage and treatment/acceptance of our LGBT brothers and sisters. I am not smart enough or qualified enough to make a judgement over what is right or wrong. I am just a typical sinful, judgmental (at times), lonely, searching human being who tries his best to keep from drowning in hate, greed, and judgement.

Anyway, what I have experienced over the last few years has been a change in my outlook and views. As I take my faith more serious and make it foremost in my life and treatment of others, I find myself getting further and further from my past, further from the Evangelical Leadership that I used to blindly follow.  I used to accept and agree with most anything the leadership would express, because they obviously knew most than I did and besides it was too much work to learn it for myself. But that has been changing.

As I got to know more LGBT individuals I found my views changing little by little. I am not saying what is right or wrong.. again I am not qualified enough to make that judgement. Just that as I got to know more of them and to know them personally, it was no longer so easy to make snap judgements about them or their lifestyles. I found out they were no different from me. They weren't the monsters they had been made out to be by some, they were fellow human beings, just as confused, lonely, and searching as I was.

And even more recently a good friend "came out" to me and told me he was Gay and had been his entire life, but that he had always had to hide it. That broke my heart, regardless of whether I agree with it or not, NO ONE should have to hide who they are or feel bad for who they are. But he also then told me that my response to that, my acceptance of it encouraged him to tell everyone. I can't express to you or him how big of an honor that was. Nor can I tell him how that gave me the strength and courage to re-examine some of my long held views and to change them and then defend them and stand for what I now feel is the correct attitude. I have grown more vocal about some things and that all grew out of the fact that it was no longer just an "issue", now it had a face and a personality that I knew and respected. It is harder to condemn and belittle when it takes on such forms.

I don't expect anyone to change their views, or what they feel is right. That is not my job, right , or place. But I do wish they would make it an active effort to seek out those different from them on whatever, get to know them. Get to know them really, deeply, and honestly. Learn what they love, what they fear, what makes them who and how they are. If more of us did that, we won't necessarily change our minds, but we will be more respectful to each other and that is ultimately what is most important and will bring the most lasting change.