Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Southern Way Part 1

In a new addition to the Blog... I will try each day to at least post a few historical things that happened each day...

Today May 22nd_

-1807 Aaron Burr indicted on charges of Treason
-1826 HMS Beagle departs on 1st voyage
-1956=Preston Brooks (SC) beats Charles Sumner (Mass) with a cane in the Senate
-1906 Wright Brothers awarded Patent #821.393 for their "Flying Machine"
-1968 USS Scorpion disappears
-1980 Namco releases "Pac Man"
-1992 Johnny Carson hosts his last "Tonight Show"
-2002 a Birmingham, AL jury convicts former KKK member Bobby Frank Cherry of the 1963 murders of 4 girls in the bombing of the 16th street church.
 -2011 Joplin Tornado


This post is just the 1st part of what I hope to make a regular part of the blog, a take on being from the South.

I am a proud Southerner, I take immense pride in the fact that I am from the South. I love her and her people. But I also am not blind or ignorant to her past mistakes and failures. We must face them, acknowledge them, and move to correct them and ensure they are never repeated. But this has to be done by ourselves, it cannot and should not be done by any outsiders.

Southerners are proud people, fiercely proud of our heritage and our ancestors. We are also fiercely loyal, stubborn, and once set in our way, not even a hurricane can move us. Right or wrong these facts will always trump just about anything else. We are raised that way, to honor and protect family (this includes not just immediate family but extended family, close friends, even to community) above all. This is part of the reason for the Civil War, it is something that outsiders (especially Northerners) can never understand.

I personally believe this is (at least) partly a by product of our Scotch-Irish ancestry. Now I understand not all Southerners are Scotch-Irish but the main backbone of the South is Scotch-Irish. And this is a natural outgrowth from their shared Celtic Tribal/Clan culture. In that heritage, the Tribe (and eventually Clan) came first. You owed your first loyalty to that group and that was carried over when they settled this country. This was a steel part of out soul long before our ancestors came over and it always will be. This is why we identify more with where we grow up more than those from the North do. This is why during the Civil War, Southerners tended to side with the South and more importantly their State over the United States.. over the Union.

We Southerners can and will always fix our errors without outside help, BUT we often do not fix them fast enough, much to our lasting regret and sorrow. We also MUST fix them on our own, any outsiders CANNOT do it for us. I am not saying they should't necessarily try (that is a debate for a different day) but that it won't do any good. All it does is cause us to "bow up" our backs and circle the war wagons. It is viewed as intrusion and interference by outsiders and will ALWAYS cause us to "close up the shop". We must work through them on our own, we only hope that we learn from past mistakes and learn to recognize them sooner and fix them before too much damage is done.

This next part will generate much debate (from all 3 of you that read it that is...lol) but it is my opinion. Part of the reason we had to go through the Civil Rights struggle was because of the Civil War. It is my contention (and I have no facts or basis for this other than my own opinion) that we would have eventually recognized the evils of slavery and ended that horrible blot on our past, but in our own way and on our own time. Please don't construe that statement as condoning it, it is not and it should have ended sooner than it did and as far slavery is concerned is a good thing the war happened and it ended. I just mean that while it ended slavery itself, it did not end the reasons behind it and out of that grew the Civil Rights struggles and evil of the 1900's. I do feel that if we had been allowed to work through it and ended it on our own, then we could have avoided a lot of what went down in the 50's and 60's. It would not have prevented all of it because their is evil out there and there always will be, but we could have avoided some of it.

Of course, such evil as slavery and racism can never be overcome without struggle and pain. Much of it is necessary, for it must be punished and eradicated and just like cancer our other diseases, that is not done without pain and struggle.

Anyway, this is only part 1 and I have rambled on long enough and probably stirred up enough problems so I will end Part 1 here. I just wanted to say that right or wrong, being such a proud, loyal, stubborn people there are some things we HAVE to work through ourselves. Even with all the sin and evil and errors of our past, I am still and ALWAYS will be a proud Southerner.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Where did civility go?

When did it start being ok to be disrespectful and discourteous when we had a disagreement or difference of opinion? Maybe it has always been this way and I have just blindly ignored it, or maybe it was just between my friends and I what we could disagree respectfully. I am not really sure, but the fact is that today the atmosphere of dialogue and debate is toxic.

Yes, ever since our founding we Americans have always enjoyed a good argument. It can get heated, voices can get raised and passions are certainly stoked. But it was still usually done with at least a modicum of respect for the other side, or at least those involved pretended to have respect at any rate.

I am not sure when or why exactly all that changed to the current atmosphere where instead of respectfully listening to what our opponent is saying and trying to find the reasons behind why he feels as he does, we just try and shout them down. And when we find ourselves in a position that we cannot defend, we resort to name calling and insults and once that happens there is no coming back.

I feel that part of the blame lies with social media such as Facebook, Twitter, IM, etc. Whereas in the past most debate, difference of opinion would happen socially in a forum such as a town hall, or a coffee shop, today we are able to just immediately take to Social Media and put whatever we want out there. While social media brings lots of good to the table it also brings the bad. Instead of having to face out opponents and look in their eyes, we can now respond without ever seeing the other person. We don't have to worry about hurting their feelings or insulting them. Whereas before there were repercussions to name calling and insulting such as: having the same thrown back at us to physical confrontation (and let me pause to say here that there is NEVER a reason or excuse to resort to physical confrontation) when doing it from cyberspace those concerns are removed. And with those restraints removed we feel free to be as angry, disrespectful and uncivil as we want.

There are admittedly other causes and reasons other than just social media and that is part of why I am writing this... to figure them out.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Hollow Hope?

I have been doing a lot of reading about the Civil Rights Struggles of the 1960's, thanks to a new novel I am reading by Greg Iles "Natchez Burning". I have also watched several documentaries as well as the movies "Mississippi Burning" and "Ghosts of Mississippi". And it makes me wonder, Have we really changed or learned anything?

I was born in 1972 and so by the time I grew old enough to understand, thankfully most of the worst of the Violence, Killing, and Racism in the South had ended. I never had to really go through it or had to make that choice of which side to take. I had the leisure and ease of not seeing the differences or hate that those who lived during those times did. I have been lucky in that, I got to grow up alongside and amongst people of all races and skin colors without having to be made to choose between "those people" or "my own race". However, I have also not fooled myself in thinking the divide, the hate, the racism has been solved or been overcome. It has just taken a different tack, it has grown passive but it is still there. And I am afraid it always will be. There will always be racism and hate, thankfully though it is not as widespread and we are learning to recognize it and head it off before it gets to the levels that it once reached.

I often ask myself while reading or watching such stories, what would I do if I were there. I want to say that I would stand up and fight the hate and racism, but I am fooling myself. If I were constantly under the thumb of such hate and vehemence and dialogue, I would probably feel the same way. If I were pressured by the KKK and other hate filled racists and suffered intimidation, I would honestly probably knuckle under it and at the very least turn a blind eye to it all. Thankfully, I don't have to, but it scares me to consider it.

While the current controversy over LGBT rights and same sex marriage has not risen to the same overt, widespread level of violence and destruction as we saw in the Civil Rights of the 1960's, and I hope it never does, the shadow is ever present. We must remain ever vigilant to ensure that it DOES NOT reach such levels. We have to have those who are ready to make those stands,  regardless of whatever peer pressure or intimidation arises, and we have to be ready before it happens. We must NEVER let such events happen again. Regardless of how you feel about the LGBT community, regardless of if you believe it is genetic or a choice, regardless of if you agree with their lifestyle we must not let those views ever degenerate to hate.

Before anyone tries to raise disagreement with me using the Bible, yes I know those passages you will mention and so what? I don't see those passages followed by permission to respond with hate and violence. Remember, the hate filled racists during the Civil Rights Era also drew from the Bible passages to rationalize and excuse their behavior and actions. Many were church going deacons, leaders and yes even pastors. I don't say that to condemn any of those in the modern church, but so that we can go in with open eyes and realize that just using the Bible to rationalize and excuse your views and behavior does not always equate to right. Even with all that, we are still called to love our fellow man and treat him equally and right. We don't have to agree, but they are due our respect and acceptance.

NO ONE is asking you or making you change your religious definition of marriage. NO ONE is changing God's definition (whatever that may be, I am not God and thus not qualified to speak for God). All they are talking about is the CIVIL, LEGAL definition and to have the same rights as anyone else. I stand with them regardless of how that may affect me and my standing with anyone. They have the same right to marry and live their lives as you and I do.

No matter where you fall on such issues, we must be willing to sit down and talk to each other. To grant each other the same respect, tolerance, and treatment we demand for ourselves. If we don't learn this, then that shadow will only grow, darken and feed and we will find ourselves right back where we were in the 1960's (or even where German was in the 1930's and 40's). We must not fail each other and our future generations like that ever again.

Monday, May 19, 2014

I am not a smart man...

Perusing through the responses from modern evangelical church leaders about the current debates over homosexuality and same sex marriage, I see a lot of "so and so has not been to seminary", "so and so is not theologically trained", and other similar statements. So, the dividing line between correct interpretations and incorrect is being theologically trained? Going to a seminary? If so, then to paraphrase Forrest Gump, "I am not a smart man". I am a theological idiot (no replies from the peanut gallery on the idiot part please).

Call me stupid but I thought that part of the point of Jesus was that we could now have a personal relationship with God through him. That we didn't need anyone to intercede for us. That we didn't need a go between. That we didn't need an "interpreter". After all, the Jews had had such for a long time and obviously were getting a lot wrong, hence part of the reason for Jesus to come along. Most of Jesus most scathing diatribes and condemnations were for the so called "Theologically trained", leaders of the church (or faith) who were keeping people out with their rules and prohibitions.

When condemning the Pharisees Jesus never said they were wrong (or right for that matter), what he called them out for was the wrong focus. They were keeping people out of heaven by their "holier than thou" attitude and behavior. I don't question that they truly believed they were serving God and fighting for God, but all they were doing was driving people away and making it impossible for them to see the light. Maybe it is time, we take a look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Is this exactly what we are doing today with our reliance on seminary and "theological" training? We can have all the right thinking and training we want, but if all it does is alienate people and drive them away, where is the good in it?

But now, 2000 years later, if you disagree with the "brain trust", but haven't been to seminary you are ignorant and wrong. We may in fact be wrong, but it isn't because we have or have not been to seminary or are "theologically" trained.

Not to mention that there are plenty of seminaries to choose from.. there are super conservative seminaries, there are super liberal seminaries, and more in between. Which ones are right and which ones are wrong? Who decides? Who watches the watchmen?

I don't see the calling out of not being "theologically" trained for those who agree with the "brain trust"? If one agrees but has not been to seminary or been "theologically" trained then where did one get such right knowledge? How can one have the right knowledge without going to such a place? Oh wait... that's right, they got it from you who HAVE been "theologically" trained at a seminary.

Last time I checked, I understood a personal relationship as meaning that it was between me and some other person. That only the 2 of us understood the fullness of it, and that only the 2 of us knew what it entailed. Anyone else could only observe from the outside and make judgements based on sch incomplete evidence. For example, if myself and a friend, were observed berating each other and insulting each other and calling each other some of the most demeaning things, an outsider could only interpret that as we were about to throw down. However, in truth, that is how my friend and I interact. WE both understand this and accept this and know that neither of us mean any of it and that we would have the other's back in a heartbeat. But without that intimate knowledge one can only truthfully see a fight getting ready to happen.

So, if I have a personal relationship with Jesus, then NO ONE else can speak to that or tell me how to live it since they aren't part of it. And if in that relationship, I don't feel Jesus telling me to shame my LGBT friends for their lifestyle then where do you get the right to tell me I am wrong? Oh wait.. I forgot, all that theological training at seminary gives you that right. My apologies.

Not to mention, now, 2000 years later, who's to say that we haven't still gotten something wrong. The truth is, even the theological training and doctrine  most of us accept and follow still started out as someone's interpretation. I am not saying, any interpretations are wrong or right, I am not qualified enough to make that judgement.. my point is that neither are you. Even if you have been to a seminary.

Seminaries help in certain ways, of that I have no doubt, but they are not the be all, end all of theological training or knowledge. And attending one does not make you any better, any smarter, or any closer to the truth and God than anyone else.

I still choose to believe that my relationship with Jesus trumps your theological training and seminary degree, and I am tired of being treated as an idiot when I disagree just because I have not been to one.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Soul Searching Saturday

Every so often I intend this blog to not be so sarcastic, but to include soulful, honest posts. Posts where I explain and tell about myself. I would say, please dear readers feel free to ask any questions you would like to ask in the comments section (or email me) but since there are probably only 3 or 4 of you and you are some of my closest friends you already know about me, but feel free anyway.

Today, I want to explain a little about some of my recent posts about the church and the same sex marriage debates. Why I am so "angry about them all".

I grew up Southern Baptist and have attended church pretty much my entire life. I love the church and it contains some beautiful, loving people. But I also despise the church and it also contains some of the most judgmental, hateful people I have ever met. In this way it is no different than humanity which is part of the point of it I think. Anyway, what disturbs me most theses days is the response to the same sex marriage debate going on today. It disturbs me to see the appeal to scripture and using that as the basis for their behavior. Scripture has been used throughout history to rationalize and excuse all kinds of behavior, most recently (historically anyway) slavery and civil rights toward African Americans. Many of the proponents of slavery used scripture ago excuse their perpetuation of the system. But thankfully many others also used scripture and appealed to scripture to fight against slavery and eventually bring it to an end in the US. I see much the same thing happening today in regards same sex marriage and treatment/acceptance of our LGBT brothers and sisters. I am not smart enough or qualified enough to make a judgement over what is right or wrong. I am just a typical sinful, judgmental (at times), lonely, searching human being who tries his best to keep from drowning in hate, greed, and judgement.

Anyway, what I have experienced over the last few years has been a change in my outlook and views. As I take my faith more serious and make it foremost in my life and treatment of others, I find myself getting further and further from my past, further from the Evangelical Leadership that I used to blindly follow.  I used to accept and agree with most anything the leadership would express, because they obviously knew most than I did and besides it was too much work to learn it for myself. But that has been changing.

As I got to know more LGBT individuals I found my views changing little by little. I am not saying what is right or wrong.. again I am not qualified enough to make that judgement. Just that as I got to know more of them and to know them personally, it was no longer so easy to make snap judgements about them or their lifestyles. I found out they were no different from me. They weren't the monsters they had been made out to be by some, they were fellow human beings, just as confused, lonely, and searching as I was.

And even more recently a good friend "came out" to me and told me he was Gay and had been his entire life, but that he had always had to hide it. That broke my heart, regardless of whether I agree with it or not, NO ONE should have to hide who they are or feel bad for who they are. But he also then told me that my response to that, my acceptance of it encouraged him to tell everyone. I can't express to you or him how big of an honor that was. Nor can I tell him how that gave me the strength and courage to re-examine some of my long held views and to change them and then defend them and stand for what I now feel is the correct attitude. I have grown more vocal about some things and that all grew out of the fact that it was no longer just an "issue", now it had a face and a personality that I knew and respected. It is harder to condemn and belittle when it takes on such forms.

I don't expect anyone to change their views, or what they feel is right. That is not my job, right , or place. But I do wish they would make it an active effort to seek out those different from them on whatever, get to know them. Get to know them really, deeply, and honestly. Learn what they love, what they fear, what makes them who and how they are. If more of us did that, we won't necessarily change our minds, but we will be more respectful to each other and that is ultimately what is most important and will bring the most lasting change.

Friday, May 16, 2014

I want a refund.

I think I got ripped off when I bought my Bible and am thinking about taking it back and asking for a refund. Judging (oops, I am judging already, see where an incomplete Bible is already getting me) from the talk of a lot of mainstream, evangelical Christian leaders such as Al Mohler, Pat Robertson, Denny Burk, and others, my Bible is apparently incomplete and I am missing some sections.

My Bible (the one I purchased and have been reading and trying to follow at any rate) does not contain a version of the 10 Commandments where homosexuality and same sex marriage are forbidden and outlawed. It also omits the parts of the Gospels and Jesus sayings where he specifically called out LGBT individuals and their lifestyles. It omits the prohibitions against same sex marriage. I am also missing the sections where divorce is still OK with and approved by God, especially if the person has committed adultery, or heaven forbid gets Alzheimers.

I must have either bought a poorly edited version or a faulty one because it contains NONE of those things I mentioned above. But apparently these wise Christian leaders have the complete versions with the missing sections, that must be the kind you can only get by going to seminary. This must be the reason I can never find complete happiness and joy in life outside of Heaven. It must also be the reason I am so conflicted in how to treat people, see the Bible I have teaches me (and convicts me) that I should treat EVERYONE equally. As Human Beings created and loved by God, AS THEY ARE. As fallible, emotional, lonely, seeking, loving creatures. It teaches me that I am NO better than any of them are, and that I have no right to judge them (well, mine does allow me to judge and belittle graduates and fans of the University of Texas, the Oakland Raiders, the New York Yankees and Detroit Red Wings because they are all obviously spawns of Satan) in ANY capacity.

Now, my Bible does mention relations between same sexes but it also says I shouldn't eat Pork (sorry but I love bacon far too much to give that up), shouldn't eat shell fish (sorry, but I enjoy Joe's Crab Shack and Red Lobster far too much), amongst other prohibitions. But wait, those are ok for us now... since Jesus came, we are no longer beholden to those, but we are to some others? I don't understand.. so some are ok to ignore but not others? Who gets to decide that?

I am told that my relationship with God through Jesus is a personal relationship, just the 2 of us. So doesn't that mean I get to interpret such stuff? Or I am missing yet another section where that is explained to me?

I try to follow the 10 commandments (as best as I can, which isn't anywhere near good enough) and I try to follow the red words in the New Testament. Outside of those things the rest is just someone's interpretation (I await your angry comments and emails), and thus not any better than my own.  I may be proven wrong one day but when and if that happens, it will be by God himself (again, just using the male pronoun I am most familiar with) and not another human being. Until then, I will leave the judgement up to him and just try to love my fellow human beings as well as I can. Maybe it is some thing we should ALL try.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Skeered Straight

I recently had a LGBT friend send me a link to a story about the LGBT community being warm and welcoming when one first comes out, but quickly distancing themselves when one actually wants to partner up because one is overweight or even just a little on the chubby side.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/it-gets-better-unless-youre-fat

My first thought when reading this was that surely this was written by the homophobic community, because nothing would go further in scaring me straight (were I experimenting in college for example) than finding out that the LGBT community was no different, was just as shallow, as the straight community.  This has the potential to do their mean spirited, bigoted work for them. I mean I can get rejected and ridiculed and wind up alone with a magazine, some tissues and a jar of vasoline on any given night on my own in the straight community. My one hope was that maybe, should I decide to experiment one day, that I could find acceptance in the LGBT community.

Now that I find out, it is no different than my own heterosexual group I think I will just stay straight thank you very much. I already have a complex over being rejected by my own people, if I were to add being rejected for being pudgy by someone else I would just as well walk into an "All You can eat" Buffalo Wing and Tapioca Pudding restaurant and end it all right there.

Listen to me homophobic community (yes I am looking directly at you "Moral Majority" and "Focus on the Family"). Here you have a Pro-LGBT article telling us that they are no different than the heterosexuals are. And before you come after me with pitchforks and torches think about it, what better way to keep the wandering, inquisitive amongst you straight than to point out that the gay community is no different? That they will be treated no differently there, that they can be rejected and ridiculed for being overweight and pimply challenged. Who would even WANT to switch sides if they are just going to suffer the same? You should be passing this article around like a proud father does cigars (or used to pass out that is before the tobacco temperance crusade ended that tradition).

My point is this, we continually get more and more evidence that the LGBT community is no different in ANY way that the heterosexual community. It contains loving, committed couples who just want to have a family and be left alone. It contains greedy, selfish, hoarding bastards just like the dynamic Donald duo (Trump and Sterling). It contains self absorbed, shallow asshole bullies who mock and ridicule the more solidly built amongst us. It is full of lost, lonely, people searching for love, acceptance, and meaning who are created and loved by God as they are.

They aren't going to give you "gayties" (that's gay cooties) just by touching or proximity. They aren't going to follow you around, drooling and lusting after you in the locker room at the golf course. Actually odds are that if you are among the more "sturdily" built, the kind that wouldn't be moved in a windstorm, even being a bigoted, judgmental asshole, then you they wouldn't want to touch you anyway. So why get bent out of shape about it?

Surely we can extend them some tolerance and acceptance of our own and treat them as the worthy, honorable human beings they are. It's the least ANY of us deserve.